When I was little, ok fine...just younger. When I was younger, everyone call me a girl. I mean, when someone was talking about me, they referred to me as to girl. However, time fly fast and I didn't even noticed, when woman come to stage.
She quietly climb in dark corner there, on the back and waited for her time. And look like her time is here...
I didn't caught that moment of time when from girl I become woman. It makes me feel warm and a bit sad, as if you saw summer just day ago and next morning you already smell changes and see first yellow life on the trail around your home. You can definitely say, that it's a new season nocking in your door. You was in your teens one day and now - it's gone, you was girl and now all we can see - it's a woman. May be still left few of them 'chosen ones', who will see little girl in me. Even through glasses, wrinkles and warm autumn shawl.
In my teens, I worked in grocery shop for summer where was colleague of mine, lady who "saw a lot in her life" with grey hair which she died in white. One day she was counting loafs when young man come and ask her for one with next entering "Excuse me, young lady, can I have one loaf of bread?" and when she was turning, he corrected himself "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't noticed, you even younger than I thought!" she start giggling, she was so happy all day after that. And I find myself deep in thoughts "what was that" a compliment, joke or nothing at all? Does he wanted to make her day and mood better, wanted to have his bread faster, or he really misjudged her (which is impossible)...
And maybe one day, when I'll become an old wrinkled gargoyle and will toddle across the street, one bright young gentle man in suite and rounded glasses will offer me hand to help. He'll look right in my eyes and smile at me and I will know for sure, he smiling to this young and fast footed me, who always inside… in her 16, in short dress, with her wide opened eyes and soul to everything new and everything what will happen with her. But now, in present, I will smile with my toothless gums back to him. Will limp with support of his hand to other side of the street and there will stay leaning to street light for good half an hour, resting and smiling to myself remembering this young nimble me in forests, fields and with friends. And who knows, maybe I'll feel happy and young this half an hour...and then, will continue toddle to mind my business, although what kind of a business I can have at this age... I'll continue to creep to warm embrace of my inevitable death.
But just woman for now… and all that will be later.
No comments:
Post a Comment